Punch-Out!! Wii King Hippo's Story Commercial Transcript & Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - HEY HIPPO, YOUR BLENDER SUCKS!

In a week about as quick to end as Luigi's boxing career (see Game & Watch Gallery 4 on your own time), we are now at the final day of KoopaTV's Punch-Out!! Week 2025! We have one last commercial to transcribe and analyse: King Hippo's!

Punch-Out!! Wii King Hippo Commercial Transcript

[King Hippo] Grrr! [King Hippo is in his backyard, making growling noises as he assaults a punching bag hanging on a tree outside of his humble house. A lower-thirds label of “KING HIPPO Retired W.V.B.A. Boxer” appears]
Do I miss boxing? Do I miss the the roar of the crowd, the people screaming my name, autograph seekers, all the excitement? [King Hippo is sitting indoors on his couch, though the footage cuts to King Hippo's overhead chops knocking Little Mac out in NES graphics, labelled “LITTLE MAC VS. KING HIPPO 1989”]
No, no no... what's past is past. My future is bright. [King Hippo is seen throwing a basketball in his yard but missing the hoop.]
I got my... my blender endorsement.
[Informercial King Hippo] And what is a Hippo Shake without a little bit of meat? [King Hippo has an island shirt in the kitchen standing next to a blender. At the bottom of the screen reads www.HippoBlender.com with a flashing phone number, 1-877-FIT-4-KING]
[King Hippo] I moved here back in uh... '94 you know, after I retired. [King Hippo is driving through a shoddy downtrodden town in his car.]
It's really like a community, you know.
[Community Inhabitant 1] Believe it or not he's a soft-spoken person, but, that rage is still there. [Community Inhabitant 1 is an older balding darker-skinned man.]
[King Hippo] GRRR GRR GRR GRR. [The footage cuts to King Hippo growling at the punching bag in his yard again before cutting to another community inhabitant.]
[Community Inhabitant 2] Everybody's so used to him now, so nobody really pays too much mind to him, not like before, you know... he was up there. [Community Inhabitant 2 is another man, wearing a black baseball cap with paler skin, tattoos, and a camouflage vest, and sitting on some stairs.]
[King Hippo] There's a wall I got some... some of my memorabilia here, when I won the belt, right there, you get that, haha look at that... grrr! [King Hippo is touring the inside of his house, and he really wanted the camera to get a shot of the photo of him wearing the championship belt.]
That's my first pair of gloves.
This is my uh... my curio case... where I keep all my... curios here.
GRRR NOM GRRR NOM GRR NOM... [King Hippo is devouring a piece of meat while standing up directly over a chair]
And this is my, uh, my peace garden. Come out here and I just uh... sit down, and bliss out. [King Hippo shows off his peace garden, which has a distinct lack of vegetation or greens.]
I'll be honest with you, I have made a lot of money as a boxer, and I put every penny of it, every last penny of it, into that blender. [King Hippo returns to his couch indoors.]
And just letting it ride, you know!
[Informercial King Hippo] You are going to turn it on...! ........Carl? [The power goes out while the infomercial is playing, despite music playing.]
[King Hippo] What do you mean a recall, what is...a complete recall? [King Hippo is on the phone, very frustrated.]
[Interviewer] What if I told you you had another shot at the title against Little Mac? [The interviewer's voice is playing while King Hippo walks into a pawn shop that buys and sells anything of value.]
[King Hippo] I hadn't thought about that... that'd be good, that'd be real good... [King Hippo is trying to bliss out in his peace garden]
[Heckler] HEY HIPPO, YOUR BLENDER SUCKS! [An unidentified white male heckler is driving by King Hippo's garden from their white car and screaming at him.]
[King Hippo] You know I'm... I'm ready for a comeback. I am. I need this. King is back. Long live the king. [King Hippo is seen leaving the pawn shop with a cheap crown on his head.]
[Narrator] They're coming back! 12 classic characters plus new ones in the all new Punch-Out!! for Wii! [Cuts to game footage of Little Mac punching King Hippo's belly, punching Von Kaiser, Star Punching Disco Kid, and punching away Glass Joe, then cutting to the Punch-Out!! Wii logo and then the general Wii logo, with the ii letters making a noise as they bow to the camera.]

Punch-Out!! Wii Great Tiger's Story Commercial Transcript & Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How about you with your silly questions? Your tell is you're an idiot.

A confession: Originally, I just wanted to do a genius.com-style song lyrics analysis of just Great Tiger's live-action commercial for Punch-Out!! Wii. But it'd be really weird if that just suddenly happened at some random point of 2025 on KoopaTV. So what if I revived Punch-Out!! Week, a one-time KoopaTV tradition, and at the same time it was in 2013? Since there are five standard days of the week and five commercials, that'd be perfect and the people would love it! So yes, I've been planning this for months, and Great Tiger's commercial is my favourite one:

Punch-Out!! Wii Great Tiger Commercial Transcript

[Great Tiger] Well to be honest, I never really thought that I'd be putting the gloves back on again. [Great Tiger walks into a GYM to begin an interview, where he is labelled “GREAT TIGER Former W.V.B.A. Contender”. The commercial switches to a clip from Punch-Out!! NES, where he punches Little Mac but misses two uppercuts, labelled “GREAT TIGER VS. LITTLE MAC 1994”]
I've just been really into my magic for the last few years... and also my music.
[Great Tiger's rap video] ♪ 'cuz I'm the Magic Man, the great GT, I've got more bling on my head than King Louis! ♪ [The rap video is labelled Great Tiger | “I've Purred Long E'nuff (Now Hear Me Roar)” | U Can Teach An Old Tiger New Tricks | Tiger Punch Records]
[Great Tiger back at the gym] The new record drops in July and we're calling the album, “U Can Teach An Old Tiger New Tricks”.
[Great Tiger's rap video] ♪ Send word to my mother... I'm in jail! ♪ [Great Tiger is grabbing onto a chainlink fence]
[Great Tiger, gym] That's because, well, you know... you know the expression, that expression uh...
that you can't teach an old dog new tricks... right...
See because you wouldn't teach a new tiger old tricks, would you?
That would be ridiculous.
That's why... you can teach an old tiger new tricks. It was... [Great Tiger crosses his arms in front of him with each hand's pointer finger sticking out, and the commercial cuts to a voiceless segment of his rap video where he's dancing]
I performed last week... um... twice... two different dates last week.
[Sunny Meadows Employee] So let's give him a warm Sunny Meadows welcome... to Mr. Tiger! [The employee, a woman, starts clapping for Mr. Tiger. Sunny Meadows is portrayed as a retirement home.]
[Great Tiger at the gym] They're very... they're very... free-willing people, you know, they're very... they're very open.
[Great Tiger rapping at Sunny Meadows] ♪ You're going to get beat down by my one-man crew, but it's not going to be that simple, ♪
♪ it's going to feel like a lot of people ♪. [The employee is looking horrified, while the old folks look on with indifference.]
[Sunny Meadows Employee, after the performance is over] You said you were going to sing the classics.
[Great Tiger] Yes, they are classics. They're going to be classics... in the future.
[Sunny Meadows Employee] That doesn't make any sense to me.
[Interviewer, back to the gym] The match is a month away. How do you feel about going up against Little Mac?
[Great Tiger] Well, I can't wait... um... the last time was in 1994, the Major Circuit Title Bout. [Screen cuts to a LITTLE MAC VS. GREAT TIGER JAN. 2 1994 poster in NES graphics]
[Interviewer] And you lost that fight?
[Great Tiger] I did. [Cut to NES Little Mac hooking Great Tiger and knocking him down (with Great Tiger's Punch-Out!! Wii voice actor making a pained noise), with Referee Mario declaring a KO! without counting to 10]
[Great Tiger] See, somehow he just knew exactly when my Tiger Punch was coming.
[Interviewer] Right, well it's the... the jewel, right? [The jewel on Great Tiger's turban flashes and makes a noise]
[Great Tiger] What are you talking about? [The jewel flashes again]
[Interviewer] The... the jewel in your turban? It's your tell, I mean it flashes right before you punch. [The jewel flashes and makes a noise repeatedly at this point]
[Great Tiger] My tell? How about you? How about you with your silly questions? Your tell is you're an idiot. [After the jewel is flashing uncontrollably, Great Tiger walks off, screams, and starts punching a punching bag. He then returns to the interviewer with duct tape placed over the jewel.]
[Great Tiger] Any further inquiries?
[Narrator] They're coming back! 12 classic characters, plus new ones, in the all new Punch-Out!! for Wii! [Cuts to game footage of Little Mac ducking under Great Tiger's punch after his jewel flashes, punching Von Kaiser, dodging Soda Popinski's hook, Star Punching Disco Kid, gut-punching Piston Hondo, and punching away Glass Joe, and then cutting to the Punch-Out!! Wii logo and then the general Wii logo, with the ii letters making a noise as they bow to the camera]

Punch-Out!! Wii Piston Hondo's Story Commercial Transcript & Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The only thing he boxes are leftovers.

We are midway through KoopaTV's Punch-Out!! Week 2025, and now to the first of the three commercials that didn't actually get distributed by Nintendo of America for wide viewing to promote the game. Therefore, these are lesser-known and posted on random YouTube channels. We get to hear about what happened to Piston Hondo (formerly known as Piston Honda) after he battled Little Mac and then retired from boxing... until he's coming back.

Punch-Out!! Wii Piston Hondo Commercial Transcript

[Piston Hondo] Do I miss boxing? Yeah, of course. [Piston Hondo in real life talking to the camera while labelled Former Major Circuit Title Holder, which cuts to Punch-Out!! NES footage of his Hondo Rush knocking out Little Mac, which is further labelled PISTON HONDO VS. LITTLE MAC 1990]
My steakhouse is doing well. [Cuts to a commercial of Piston Hondo's Steakhouse, with a note at the bottom saying “Now open in Redwood City and Burlingame”]
So come on down to Piston Hondo's steakhouse! It will be “missed-steak” not to! [A note in the corner declares it is OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK as Piston Hondo makes some boxing motions, and “missed-steak” appears, complete with quote marks, on the screen]
People said, “What does a pro boxer know about running a restaurant?” And the answer to that is... nothing.
[Japanese Restaurant Employee] In this corner, weighing 175 pounds, from Tokyo, Japan, Piston Hondo... hondo... hondo... hondo... [The employee is declaring this in the middle of a packed restaurant with a microphone]
[Piston Hondo] Welcome to Piston Hondo's Steakhouse! How are you doing everybody? How you doing? Doing good? Enjoy meal? [Piston Hondo emerges and walks up to a customer, and feints a punch.]
Oh! You want to fight with me? How... how does steak? You want me to tenderize that steak? [Piston Hondo keeps trying to rapidly punch the space immediately in front of the customer, who is very nervous about the whole idea.]
Tenderize? [The scene cuts back to the confessional camera.]
Honestly, I used to have an anger problem. But not anymore. [The scene cuts back to inside the restaurant in front of another employee.]
[Untransliterated Japanese speech from Piston Hondo] [The employee looks clueless]
What?
[White restaurant employee] I have no idea what you're saying.
[Piston Hondo] You don't understand me? Now, get out! Get out! [The employee goes to leave]
Hey, hey! Wait, wait a second! Wait! Come on. That's joking. Okay?
No, my glory days are over now. [Camera cuts back to the the confessional with Piston Hondo alone.]
The only thing I box these days are leftovers. Haha... I'm joking.
[Interviewer] Now that Little Mac has returned to the ring, would you fight him again?
[Piston Hondo] Are you kidding me? I would give him a TKO from Tokyo!
Piston Hondo is coming back! [Piston Hondo is in the restaurant bathroom adjusting his bandana, talking to himself in the mirror as someone else flushes the toilet and comes out.]
[Patron] Excuse me. [The patron takes Piston Hondo's place in front of the mirror, which has a sink under it.]
[Narrator] They're coming back! 12 classic characters plus new ones in the all new Punch-Out!! for Wii! [Cuts to game footage of Little Mac ducking under Piston Hondo's jab, punching Von Kaiser, dodging Soda Popinski's hook, Star Punching Disco Kid, combo-attacking Great Tiger, and punching away Glass Joe, then cutting to the Punch-Out!! Wii logo and then the general Wii logo, with the ii letters making a noise as they bow to the camera]

Punch-Out!! Wii Little Mac's Story Commercial Transcript & Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Little Mac once again the best!

When people think about live-action Punch-Out!! commercials for Punch-Out!! Wii, they are thinking of the one that I'm going to dissect for this article, the one that is embedded below. They might not know or think about the other four—but that's what Punch-Out!! Week is for. This is the commercial that features real-life boxer Paulie Malignaggi as Little Mac, and Isiah Whitlock Jr. reprises his role as Doc Louis:

Punch-Out!! Wii Little Mac Commercial Transcript

[Little Mac] It's the worst feeling that can happen to a fighter. [Little Mac practicing punching an aerially suspended speed bag]
You know, you're a world champion— all your dreams you've accomplished them... [Little Mac is jumping over a jump rope and thinks back to the Punch-Out!! NES newspaper article from April 1, 1987 declaring him the new champion of the W.V.B.A. World Circuit]
...and then it's suddenly like this, they just take it away from you. [Little Mac snaps his fingers, as the screen cuts to LITTLE MAC VS. KING HIPPO, dated 1989, featuring King Hippo knocking out Mac with an overhead chop]
That punch cost me the W.V.B.A. title. [Referee Mario in NES graphics declares Little Mac knocked out by KO! without counting to 10]
After 15 years, it's going to be good to get back in the ring.
I don't think anybody works harder than me, so I'm a very hardworking fighter, I'm probably one of the hardest working fighters of this generation. [Little Mac is using an exercise bike, observing a guy next to him biking harder than he is, then he speeds up himself.]
I can't afford to sleep. I'll sleep when I'm dead, man, right now it's time to work. [Mac is pummeling the speed bag again.]
Little Mac once again the best! [Little Mac talking in front of a mirror in a locker room.]
'sup man? [Little Mac is asking someone who entered the locker room as he was hyping himself up.]
How long have I been with Doc? Pft, a long time.
[Doc Louis] King Hippo here, baby! Come on, jab! Stick-and-move! Jab to the body of King Hippo! Come on! [Doc Louis is holding up a giant King Hippo-shaped punching bag for Little Mac to punch]
[Little Mac] I trust Doc.
[Doc Louis] Get King Hippo!
[Doc Louis] That's it, come on baby, come on, come on. [Scene changes to Little Mac punching a bust of Great Tiger]
Dance like a fly, bite like a mosquito.
[Little Mac] I... I don't know what that means, Doc.
[Doc Louis] You don't know what that means? Come over here, I'll tell you. [Doc Louis motions Little Mac to walk over to his corner, which he does, and then Doc smacks Mac's head with some paper, and then motions for him to get back to training.]
Let's go!
What do I think of Little Mac's chances against Piston Hondo? [Scene cuts to Doc Louis eating a chocolate bar outside on a bench.]
We going to be saying to sayonara to him... [takes a loud bite of the chocolate bar]
That's Japanese for goodbye.
Great Tiger ain't nothing but a little kitty cat.
[Doc Louis, cut to Mac punching the Great Tiger bust] He ain't got no hard right, gon' hit you back!
King Hippo going to be the king of... lose?
THERE YOU GO, THERE YOU GO. HIT 'EM BABY, HIT IT!
They say a comeback is like a yo-yo...
You going to go down but you coming right back up. ...And then may end up walking the dog.
[Doc Louis] Gonna go work it! Work it! Ohohoh!
[Little Mac] It's been 15 years since I stepped into the ring, but now it's hippo season, and I just got my hunting license. [Little Mac is running after Doc Louis in a pink sweatshirt while Doc Louis is riding a bicycle with a chocolate bar]
[Narrator] They're coming back! 12 classic characters plus new ones in the all-new Punch-Out!! for Wii! [Game footage of Little Mac beating up King Hippo, Von Kaiser, Disco Kid, and then Glass Joe. Then cutting to the Punch-Out!! Wii logo and then the general Wii logo, with the ii letters making a noise as they bow to the camera]

Punch-Out!! Wii with Doc Louis Commercial Transcript & Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yeah, I'm coming back!

Hey, did you know that we're starting Punch-Out!! Week again? Check the announcement out. First, we'll go through Doc Louis's commercial, since he gives—or tries to give—an introduction to how Punch-Out!! works. Doc Louis in this commercial is played by Isiah Whitlock Jr., notable for roles such as Clay Davis of The Wire and saying “sheeeeit”. He may or may not also be the narrator voice in all of the following commercials. Sure sounds like it. 

Punch-Out!! Wii Doc Louis Commercial Transcript

[Doc Louis] Aight, I'm Doc Louis and this is Punch-Out!! [standing next to a King Hippo-shaped punching bag at Doc's Gym]
Boxing on the Wii! [bites chocolate bar]
In this video, I'm going to teach you everything you need to know to become a champion fighter.
Now let's get training. [bites chocolate bar, and then scene transitions to inside the boxing ring with a monitor and a Wii, with the Punch-Out!! Wii title screen on the monitor]
[Doc Louis] Did I ever tell you? I was a three-time heavyweight champion back in the day?
Yeah! In my heyday I was feared by... [cut off by Off-Screen Producer]
[Off-Screen Producer] DOC! Quit your rambling!
[Doc Louis] I'm telling them about my glory days!
[Off-Screen Producer] Just tell them about the game!
[Doc Louis] Hey look, don't let me have to come down there.
[Doc Louis, standing up and now holding a Wii Remote (with Wrist Strap attached) and Nunchuk in front of the TV monitor in the boxing ring] All right here we go, Glass Joe.
Hehehe, this is gonna be easy. Now, the first thing I'm going to teach you is the stick-and-move combo.
Now, you want to keep the center of gravity low... and punch!
Right, left, right, left. [Doc is thrusting his respective arms forward, holding the respective controller]
Now, if you want to throw a punch up high, you just push up, [close-up of Doc Louis pushing up on the Wii Nunchuk's control stick]
and then you just throw that punch!
I'm gonna break this Glass Joe!
Ooh, now I got a star! Hold the A button... and swing! [Little Mac, in the game footage, jabbed Glass Joe with his left fist as Glass Joe was winding up for his punch. The camera zooms in to Doc's right thumb on the Wii Remote A button.]
Star Punch! Yeah ol’ Doc Louis still got some good punches in him!
Now you gotta watch those counter punches!
Push up to block... left and right to dodge! [Doc Louis is controlling Little Mac to dodge one of Glass Joe's punches, but fails to dodge several more.]
...Ooh! Hey, come on! That hurt! Ooh! ...Ah! Hey, come on! [Little Mac is actually knocked down by Glass Joe]
Does it make you feel tough to beat an old man?
You shake the Wii Remote up and down when you want to get up! [Doc Louis is waggling the Wii Remote and Nunchuk to revive Little Mac, who is face down on the mat]
Come on, Little Mac!
I'm going to tear him up!
Right left! Jab! [Little Mac knocks down Glass Joe with two seconds left in Round 1; this is the first knock down against Glass Joe while Mac has already suffered one]
Yeah, I'm coming back! [The Punch-Out!! Wii logo appears on the screen overlaid atop Doc Louis making a punching pose, with the text “with Doc Louis” underneath]

Announcing Punch-Out!! Week! (2025)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Every article next week is Punch-Out!! related!

You know what's worth randomly bringing KoopaTV back, over two years after it shut down for new content? Is it because I'm an owner of a Nintendo Switch 2 and I want to talk about my thoughts? Do I want to contribute my commentary on the political climate of the United States in 2025? Nope (in that I am an owner, but I have nothing to say)... and certainly nope! The correct answer of what's worth it is... The Punch-Out!! series! Twelve years ago at this time of the year, we launched KoopaTV's Punch-Out!! Week, but it was only observed during 2013 and never came back any other year. Until now!

Twelve years ago, Punch-Out!! Week was ultimately a vehicle to hype up to an end-of-week surprise of Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!—I can promise you there won't be any surprises or videogame releases (from KoopaTV) this time. The week will be dedicated towards transcribing and providing commentary and analysis on the five live-action Punch-Out!! Wii commercials produced by Nintendo of America—although Piston Hondo's, Great Tiger's, and King Hippo's were never aired. These commercials were produced back around 2009. Here's the agenda for KoopaTV's next week:

• August 18, 2025: Doc Louis teaches how to play the game
• August 19, 2025: Little Mac's story
• August 20, 2025: Piston Hondo's story
• August 21, 2025: Great Tiger's story
• August 22, 2025: King Hippo's story

By the way, I replayed through the whole Punch-Out!! for Wii earlier this year. Absolutely fantastic game, filled with great personality, music, and many layers of gameplay depth. I have two major problems with it, though.

For one, I played on a non-CRT television. Sure, it's on “Game Mode”, but there's still a sizable enough lag. It's a major problem for a game designed around very frame-precise inputs. With lag, there isn't enough time to react to anything; you must anticipate (memorise) patterns and make inputs before your opponent even does anything. That makes the game less fun than it should be, but Punch-Out!! Wii does at least let you restart matches very easily and without hassle in the pause menu.

Regarding hassle, I cannot say the same for how the controls work. The only way to get through the menus is with motion controls, even if you are using the option to play the fights with the Wii Remote on its side. But you must have the sensor bar on and point the Wii Remote at your screen and aim your pointer at buttons to progress to the next fight or navigate the menus. Even when Doc Louis is just talking after a fight and the only interactable option is NEXT, you can't just press A to progress—you have to point to the NEXT button and press A. A lot of the user interface design of the Wii era is horrible and it doesn't get talked about as often as it should be—I didn't even mention it in my Punch-Out!! Wii review from 12 years ago. Also, the Wii Pro Controller (and the GameCube Controller) are not recognised by Punch-Out!! Wii—by comparison, even the Pro Controller is recognised in the Wii Channels HOME menu (and you don't need the sensor bar operating to use the Pro Controller, which means you need a working Sensor Bar to play Punch-Out!! on the Wii but not to navigate to it from your Wii HOME).

Both of those problems would be solved if there was a new Punch-Out!! game, so I'm hoping I can will that into existence with the renewal of Punch-Out!! Week! And then maybe it can even happen again next year?

By the way, LOGO CHANGE:

This logo is different than the 2013 one because it has a “.org” in it.
Once next week is over, the logo reverts back to the normal KoopaTV logo.
You will also revert back into thinking KoopaTV will never get another article ever again.

This article will be updated with the links on that agenda list above throughout the next week. It's also a good idea to be on KoopaTV's email list (subscribe to that at the bottom of any page on the website), which has been quite empty throughout 2025... until now.

Turtwig as a Troopea Sprite

By TURTWIG VON KOOPA - Turtpea? Troowig? Koopea? We need a name for this...

For those wondering, Ludwig is... or was doing alright after the assassination attempt on him from four months ago. He has been going through some physical therapy to work that out, but a lot of his progress seemed to be reverted upon hearing that ŌKAMI will be getting a sequel (and apparently Ōkamiden doesn't exist?) because Ludwig went into a total state of shock. Given his present vegetative condition, Ludwig's global set of minions have decided to pitch in and send him a nice vegetable-related birthday present. The finest artists in Koopa Kingdom and beyond the dimensions have produced this custom sprite:

You may be familiar with the quadruped Troopea from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, native to the Beanbean Kingdom. These are relatives of Koopa Troopas from Koopa Kingdom. They may look like Koopas... but they have sprouts growing from their heads. You may also be familiar with the Pokémon called Turtwig, which is the quadruped Tiny Leaf Pokémon that also has a sprout growing from its head. Turtwig are commonly seen as “first partner Pokémon” (or starter Pokémon) in the Sinnoh region. Troopea and Turtwig are conceptually similar. In the past, others have noted that Troopea is like a “proto Turtwig”, and some have even requested a custom sprite merging the two, with one guy saying he's working on it back in 2008. But no such sprite was ever actually made, to Ludwig's disappointment. ...Until now!

Ludwig has quite a bit of affection for Turtwig in particular, and Grass types in general, and Troopea is basically a Grass-type Koopa Troopa from his own planet. Given the currency situation, Ludwig doesn't actually get to peacefully visit the Beanbean Kingdom all that much, but he likes Troopeas in theory and is as fascinated by them as someone who doesn't know biology can be.

Ludwig Von Koopa Statement on Attempted Assassination at Nintendo Museum

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - About yesterday's events (August 19, 2024).

I want to thank The Koopa Kingdom Squirtle Squad, and all of Law Enforcement, for their rapid response on the shooting that just took place in the Nintendo Museum, Uji City, Kyoto. Most importantly, I want to extend my condolences to the family of the Koopa at the Visit who was killed, and also to my family of the other Koopalings that were badly injured. It is incredible that such an act can take place in that Country.

Quite a bit is known at this time about the suspected shooter or shooters, who are all alive. I was shot with a bullet that pierced the upper part of my right ear. I knew immediately that something was wrong in that I heard a whizzing sound, shots, and immediately felt the bullet ripping through the scales. Much bleeding took place, so I realised then what was happening. GOD BLESS KOOPA KINGDOM!

Regarding the suspects, Nintendo Executive Fellow Shigeru Miyamoto can be seen and heard on video instructing himself and Nintendo employees (in Japanese),

“Yes! Don't shoot Mario or Peach! Aim and shoot at the Koopa Troopas! OK, there are a lot of them! Let's shoot ‘em! Bob-ombs are flying at us! I wonder how I did. What's my score? It seems good!”

KoopaTV's June 2023 Review Newsletter — The FINAL Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You'll want to read this entire newsletter if you care even a little about KoopaTV!

I don't want to write this newsletter, since I know what it represents (and you should click that link if you don't understand why it's the last newsletter), and it's not something I like.

For more information on that, read to the end of this newsletter.

Don't miss KoopaTV's new videogame, Fire Withdraw!

You might not have expected KoopaTV to publish a videogame on the Sunday before this newsletter was to go out. But it happened! It's a very rare and fortunate event. ...And you ought to go play Fire Withdraw, too, instead of just marveling at its existence. You can play Fire Withdraw directly from KoopaTV for free, even. (Play it on a PC.)

The answer to the second question should be “Yes” if you focus hard enough.
But you gotta prove it!

Hm, I'm just now reminding myself that I (or multiple people) need to go update the TV Tropes pages for both our videogames and our website as a whole.

Top Five Recommended Experiences of June 2023

June 2023 was pretty much the only month of KoopaTV's ten-year history where I had a plan for what to publish on every day of the month. However, FakE3 events kept popping up that needed a Reaction Log, so that bumped off content that will now just never exist. ...So it's hard to pick just five articles from a month that had a lot of high-intent works, several of which I've wanted to write for YEARS. Here's my attempt (that ends up omitting all of those Reaction Logs) in chronological order:

1. Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl Resolved Many of Diamond & Pearl's Release-Era Issues — This article exists on the theory that the issues identified near when a game is initially released are more authentic problems than those that crop up several years later, which are prone to outside influences and unrelated biases. Based on that, Ludwig compared the noted negatives of Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl a decade and a half ago with what Pokémon Brilliant Diamond and Pokémon Shining Pearl did, to try to mend the latter's poor fan reputations.
2. The Mushroom Kingdom Hyperinflation and its Problem for the Koopa Clan — The monetary mismanagement caused by Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom causes great damage to the Koopa Kingdom, and that's why Koopa Kingdom's interventions are justified.
3. Pokémon Stadium Kids Club Minigame Tier List — There are nine minigames in Pokémon Stadium—which are the worst and which are the best? And why?
4. Mario's Subcon Dream Comes From Childhood Memories — There is a very close tie between Mario dreaming about Subcon compared to his memories as a baby, which this article explores.
5. Left-Handedness Deserves More Recognition — The left-handed witch, Witch Princess, discusses her difficulties operating in a world and gaming ecosystem designed for right-handed people.

Hm, that's overwhelmingly biased towards the last week of June. In times like that, I'll say that every KoopaTV article is worth reading and checking out. And you ought to do just that. Especially since there won't be any new articles coming out—so you'll be able to much more easily catch up than ever before! Now... let's move on to the user-generated parts (and afterwards, a big list of KoopaTV prize winners, and concluding thoughts you'll want to see):

Play Fire Withdraw: A Free Videogame By KoopaTV!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The next generation of one-button gameplay, with a very important moral lesson.

Check below (under the page break, so it doesn't try to load every time someone sees the home page) for a new videogame you can play right from KoopaTV. ...On a PC with a keyboard. This is KoopaTV's first new videogame since 2017! And this is my first completed project developed using Scratch 3.0. It's also KoopaTV's first and only videogame that's based on the Super Mario IP. (Which we don't own. Go beat the Story Mode for the credits.)

As of July 9, 2023, you can now play the game with just a mouse, but it's not implemented in an optimal way or reflected in-game yet. This patch also made Level 5 marginally easier.

As of July 31, 2023, the in-game instructions and user interface reflect mouse use, including level selection and a new KoopaTV instructional dialogue in Level 1 (and Level 1 is marginally easier to make sure you don't die while listening to the instructions). This should also make the game playable on a mobile device. I strongly believe that the most optimal way to play the game is still using a keyboard key, though.

Fire Withdraw is KoopaTV's first and last-ever videogame that you could play on a mobile device!
(It's inferior to using a keyboard on a PC, but it's possible to play through the game and the UI fully supports it!
Try it on a stable connection.)

Fire Withdraw is a single-player game that evolves the one-button gameplay inspired by the Egg Catcher minigame from Kirby's Adventure (and Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe) and further developed by the Rock Harden minigame from Pokémon Stadium. I have a full explanation of everything below the page break (plus the embedded game itself, playable right from your web browser), so go: ↓↓↓↓↓

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